Music and Lyrics by Daniel Zhen-Wei Eh
Congratulations for having been successfully evaluated by the individuals you have coached. You clearly have the ability to effectively coach others and help them improve their lives via strengths-based development.Woohoo! But I was surprised as I do have two more to go, whom I will still coach and have them evaluate me because I have promised and committed to them.
Whining always sounds childish. Consider the bumper sticker on which the word “Whining” is superimposed with a red circle slashed by a diagonal line — “No Whining!” It is not hard to guess who is inside the car (usually a minivan). Children are notorious for whining. To be guilty of this sin, as the Israelites were, is a sign of spiritual immaturity. One day the people were dancing on the beach, singing praises to God; but only a few days later they were on the verge of open rebellion. This is a clear sign that they were still in their spiritual infancy."
Why ask questions, anyway?
What's the benefit of using coaching questions instead of advising or telling in a mentor or consultant role? Quite simply, questions hold the power to cause us to think, create answers we believe in, and motivate us to act on our ideas. Asking moves us beyond passive acceptance of what others say, or staying stuck in present circumstances, to aggressively applying our creative ability to the problem.
Questions also redefine relationships between people. When I am advising, mentoring or consulting, I'm the expert. My role makes me your superior (at least in knowledge). But when I'm asking you for your ideas, I'm a peer. Questions honor you as a person and communicate your value as an equal.
And because this asking approach changes the relationship, it also changes you. Have you ever left a conversation thinking, "Boy, that conversation was one-sided! The whole thing was about him." My wife calls that a lack of "conversational generosity". We all hate it when others can't stop talking about their own thoughts and ideas—but we're blind to how often we do it ourselves.
The coaching approach forces your conversations to become less about your thoughts, your input, and how you can steer the dialogue around to the answer you think will work. You start listening—really listening—to the other person. You decrease what you say, so that others can increase. And that's where the magic happens: the more you listen, the more you see how capable they are, how much they can do with a little encouragement, and what wonderful individuals they are. The more you ask, the more you love.
David M. Perez's review of Girl with a Pearl Earring
Another one of my wife's recommendations (I read a lot of books that way), I picked it up from the bookshelf the night we came back from seeing the film with Scarlett Johansonn and Colin Firth. I loved the movie--it was just so incredibly sumptuous--and was curious to know the story in the novel, which I knew from experience, and from my wife's continuous comments, would be different, more detailed. I was right.
Chevalier has won a place in my heart and bookshelf. Her novels are well-crafted, simple to follow, and addictive; Girl was no exception. The story of the maid Griet in 1600's Delft, Holland, was amazing in its simple prose and endless emotion. Completely fictional (no one knows who exactly were the models for any of Vermeer's paintings), it nonetheless possesses a veracity that makes you believe Chevalier found the long-lost journal of this unknown woman and wrote her novel based on it. The details of seventeen century Holland are rich; you feel you are walking the canal-lined streets of Delft, smelling the pungent scents of the Meat Market, holding your breath as Vermeer paints next to you. Griet is a wonderful protagonist, taking you into her world, yet retaining a few secrets for herself, especially where Vermeer is concerned.
Girl is one of those novels that truly invites you, and almost kidnaps you, to become part of the story, to walk next to the characters, to share in their lives, to feel as they feel. Watch the movie, by all means (the photography is absolutely incredible), but then read the novel and get the whole story. You will not be disappointed. (Emphasis mine)